I have noticed a pattern in a particular subject that as been popping up around me recently. That subject being... Relationships. I have had a large number of friends that have just entered, just got out of, or just entered a very serious point in their relationship. Now these conversations have had various forms and they haven't been looking at the same aspects of relationships (romantic relationships, in case I need to clarify) but it has sparked some thought on my part.
The first thing being the people we choose (and I use that term loosely) to like or be attracted to. We have this certain criteria, or a list of things we look for in a partner, and we apply these things to the people we meet to see if there is potential for a relationship. However, then there are the cases where we are attracted to someone, but they don't necessarily have those particular qualities that we thought we were looking for, but somehow the relationship works. Then there are those people who have all the qualities that we look for in a partner, but for some reason or another, we aren't attracted to them. Apparently there is some component that can make or break a relationship, and I have no clue what that component is. There is some essential bit that can make a relationship work, when in other scenarios, it would have no chance, or it can prevent one from even occurring, when it would otherwise make perfect sense for a relationship to form. I don't know about you, but that's pretty big stuff. It's strange to me that I can't put my finger on what that component is.
The next thing being how people actually get together. It's a funny thing how some people get together very quickly, or over a long period of time. There are those people that get together after a couple of weeks, and then there are people who get together after many many months or even years. Then there is this other component of the "courting" process; you know, the flirting, or going on dates, or what have you. Sometimes it's so strange. How some people show interest can be so unbelievably different from others, it's amazing. Now personally, I'm really, and I mean REALLY, bad at telling if someone is interested in me. I will be the first to admit I can be kind of dense in that area. However, I tend to think that I am sadly kind of obvious when I am interested in someone. I don't know if that is true or not, but I always feel like I am super obvious, and therefore feel kind of silly about it at times. ANYWAY.
Then comes the process of actually communicating your feelings. You know, the kind of literal, "Hey...Guess what"? "What"? " I like you". "Awesome. I like you too". This process, at least for me, is the hardest. There is this whole process of working your way to that point where you feel like you want, or need, to express your feelings, but then there is also this kind of awkward component of how you do that. You know, do you wait for the other person to say something first? Do you say something first? Are you straight forward, or do you feel around for the right moment? So many variations! Personally, I am awful at this. I am such a pansy when it comes to telling someone I like them. Since I can be pretty dense about assessing someone else's feelings toward me, I tend to second guess whether or not someone might like me. This, therefore, results in me, often times, not saying a word. I usually just hope that if the other person has feelings towards me, and that they will say something first. I'm not sure if this comes from fear of rejection, or rather a fear of looking like an idiot. I can recall telling one person that I liked them first, and while he didn't have the same feelings, we actually became better friends after that. So, I'm not particularly sure why I have this apprehension, because I really haven't had a particularly bad experience. AND I'm not one of those girls that thinks the guy should have to say something first, although I have had people tell me to wait for the guy to say something as to not appear threatening. That is an interesting concept to me. Is that true? Is it threatening if a girl admits her feelings first? I think it's a silly idea, but who knows.
So, in short, this has been a very interesting pattern of conversation in my life as of late. I know there are probably no answers for any of the questions or ponderings, but it is definitely interesting to think about.
