How many times have I come across a post or article entitled something like"27 things every twenty something needs to hear" is far too many to count. In every single one of those posts and articles one of those "things to hear" is how not to compare you or your life to others around your age. They say 'everyone progresses in different ways and takes different paths. Don't weigh your self worth on where you think you should be in comparison to others! You rock the path you are walking now and be proud!'. Well, random articles targeted to the 20-something population, you can kiss my ass.
I know the sentiment is true. Yes, it's true that you shouldn't compare where you are in life to others. There is no right or wrong way to which path you chose to take, or how long that path may be, however I'd love to hear that from someone who's not getting paid to write such things. As a twenty-something who's currently experiencing feelings of great envy towards others who "have their shit together" I can't stand to read those articles.
It's frustrating being in one place and desperately wanting to change your situation but feel as though you cant do anything about it. I'm about to start my last year of graduate school, and it's going to be an stressful year. I'm required for my program to complete two, unpaid, internships; one part time, the second full time. This means at least for the second internship, I will not be able to work a job that brings me any income of significance. This fact alone was stressful enough, but now I have, at most, 10 weeks in the current job that I hold due to the company going out of business. Meaning, if I can't find another job within 10 weeks or so, I may not have any active income...yay.
I've had this post sitting in edit mode for a little while now. I start looking at it and adding to it, and then stopping because it feels so negative, and I hate being overly negative. However, I think I need to just let it be said. Thinking about all of this is stressful; a great understatement really. I'm very much at a point in my life where I am ready to take the next step into adulthood, in a few ways actually. I'm ready to start my career, but I feel so much apprehension, and even a bit of bitterness towards it now. When it feels like you've been working and doing all of these things to get you through to the next step, and then you trip. You trip, and suddenly instead of looking at the finish line straight ahead, you are seeing it from the ground, and getting back up hurts, it's embarrassing, and the other runners are passing you by. It makes it difficult to see why you should finish the race at all, I mean it doesn't seem like you are going to win, so why keep running?
All that being said, I know I will 'finish the race' as it were. I've come to far and have done too much work not to, however these past few weeks have not been easy. Trying not to compare yourself to others is hard, especially when you feel like you are working towards a goal. I know I will get through this time and, if anything, learn more about myself than I would have, had I not been faced with this challenge. I'm attempting to hold on to that idea, and waiting to see this thing through. Let's hope the final goal is all worth the wait.
