Donate.

I gave blood today. It's a simple statement, and a simple action. I've done it several times without too much thought to it. I give anytime I can because it's a simple process that will help someone in the future. I also give blood because of my blood type. O+. It's not the all powerful O- , but it can still help any other positive blood type, so I feel like I should help if I can.

I met a woman today after giving blood. We were sat at the refreshments table, taking the time to sit, drink some apple juice, and chow down on a doughnut. I was making simple conversation with the others at the table and one of the volunteers, and we came to the subject of how many people actually go and donate blood. If you didn't know, it's not a large amount. For the amount of blood that hospitals need, there is a large lack of donations to cover that demand. This woman, who's name I failed to get, started to tell me that she can't even count the number of times she has given blood. She goes every 8 weeks if time allows. She explained to me that the reason she goes so often is that several years ago her son had surgery for a routine tonsillectomy. During the surgery, the doctors came out to her holding her sons clothes. Very confused, she asked why they had his clothes. They proceeded to tell her that what was a routine surgery, had gone wrong and that her son had started to lose a large amount of blood and had to be rushed to the O.R, and that the outlook did not look good. Without a real explanation, the doctors started handing her paperwork. You know, they scary papers of DNR's and waivers and such. She told me that she had never known the kind of fear that she went through that day. She had never really planned for the worst, because it was a surgery that was done all the time. What did she have to be worried about?  

Luckly, her son made it through the surgery, and spent a week in the hospital for recovery. She told me that ever since that day, she has given blood at every opportunity that she has had. Her son received a lot of blood to make it through the surgery, which means that someone had to take the time to donate it. She wants to be able to do that for someone else, and that is why she donates.

If you have time folks, please go and donate. It means more than you think. 

“In the depths of my soul, I longed to be a part of something large and good; something that required all of me; something dangerous and worth dying for.”

—	John & Stasi Eldredge, Captivating

Slightly Bitter and Single. Party of One.

For a long time I was a firm believer in the whole "age is just a number" thing when it comes to relationships. However, after some personal experience with the idea, I beg to differ. A little while ago I was dating a guy who was a good bit older than I. He was cute, sweet, and we had a lot in common....however....there was just a lack of that spark that you need in a relationship. At first I thought it was because of bad timing, however after some thought I realized that wasn't the case. He was just too old for me. We were at two different points in our lives, and I feel that after a while he realized that as well. He had experienced much more than I, and while he never made me feel young, the fact was that I WAS young compared to him. Luckily, we are still friends but we won't ever be more than that, and for good reason. I took this as a lesson learned and looked to move forward.

Now if we fast forward to today, I'm standing in a somewhat similar position. Sort of. 

A few weeks back a friend who I met in undergrad got in contact with me. We were in the same major and had a large number of classes together. I never thought of him as anything other than a friend, and that still holds true today. However, he has expressed an interest in me before, but I made it clear that I didn't see him in that light, and I thought he was cool with that. However, in recent exchanges with me he as made references to me being "the one" and "that girl" and not only is it really confusing since I've never dated this guy, nor have I led him to believe that I wanted to, but it's also really uncomfortable. He is being really adamant about taking me out to lunch, and I'm super reluctant because I'm very confused on his possible intentions. He's a good friend, but not only is he too old for me, but I'm just not attracted to him. I hate saying that because I know it sounds really shallow, but it's just not there for me. 

I'm so confused as to why a guy so much older than me can think that I would have something to bring to the table in a relationship. I don't mean this in a self-deprecating way, but the fact is that we are in two very different places in our lives. He has had a career, an ex-wife, and a life that has a much longer story than mine. My story, in a way, is only really beginning, and his has a good few chapters. Now, while that is not a bad thing, it just makes it very hard for me to understand why he could think that we would ever work. 

And now I have found myself getting a little frustrated not only with him, but at my dating karma as well. I've been single for a good while now, and I'm ready to date someone seriously. However, it's as if I am either interested in someone who has no interest in me, or someone is interested in me, but I do not feel the same way about them. It feels like I'm constantly just missing the mark in either direction, and after a while it starts to get to you. I feel that most single people are expected to be happy about being single. Now this is not to say I am not happy, because I am content with being single, it doesn't really bother me most of the time, but I feel like you are also expected not to care. It's kind of looked down on if you express that you want to be in a relationship. Some view you as being desperate or lonely, and I just don't think that is the case. It's just that it gets really frustrating from time to time. I start to wonder if it's something to do with me, and thus starts the lame, but usually short lived cycle of questions that include; Am I boring? Not attractive? Too fat? Not girly enough? Too shy? and yada yada yada. All the stuff in retrospect that I am dumb for thinking about, but I can't deny that I have my days where it just kind of stinks. 

So what's a girl to do? Your guess is as good as mine. 

“Suddenly she realized that what she was regretting was not the lost past but the lost future, not what had not been but what would never be.”- F. Scott Fitzgerald, A Nice Quiet Place