Oh the times, they are a changin'...

Well, it's the last week of the semester. To be precise, I have 3 more days until the last day of classes, and 5 days until my last day of work, and it's all kind of bitter sweet.

I more than welcome the end of this semester in the sense that this year has been rough. A lot of changes happened this year, and while all of these changes were not all bad (some were extremely welcomed) they definitely tested me. I have had a good few hurtles to overcome, but they have made me stronger in the end. I know now that I can handle much more than I had once thought, and that is a welcomed realization. On the flip side, I am MORE than ready for a break. I am ready for things to settle down a bit. I do have a Maymester class that will start in a little over a week, but after that no classes for the rest of the summer! After this summer then I will officially start my last semester of my undergraduate career! It's both exciting and... slightly terrifying. I do not feel like I am old enough to be graduating ( I'm only 21! ...22 on June 5th). It seems that college has flown by, and part of me is wondering where I was while it was happening. In ways, I am not ready to graduate, but in others I welcome it with open arms. I actually would have graduated this semester, but I was put back by some changes that happened with my department. So, I will be going to graduation this year, but it will be to support my friends that made it through. One friend in particular I have known since 9th grade, and she was also my freshman year roommate. It will be bitter sweet to see her graduate, but I am so happy that I will be able to be there for her.

 I also will be starting my new job in May which I'm happy about. It's not a super fancy job or anything, but it will be something to pay for gas to put in my car. It will be weird not returning in the fall as an RA. I've done it for a while now (this will conclude my 3rd year) and it has become very familiar to me. I know that I might not always sound like I enjoy my job, but I really have learned so much from it. I've met some really great people, and some not so great people. However, there are some that I feel really lucky to have met, and I hope to keep these friendships in the long term.

To boot with all of this, I signed my first lease! I'm excited to have an apartment, but I know it will be weird too. In all of my college career, I have never had my own bathroom, or a kitchen at that. I'm excited to start cooking more, and having some kick ass movie nights. I will be moving in at the beginning of June, and overall I'm pretty excited.

So, things are changing...let's see what this new adventure has in store!

I've decided that I'm going to make putting videos at the end of each post a thing....yeah, it's a thing now.

The Cinematic Orchestra- To Build A Home

Spring Daydreams

Well, it's a pretty Sunday afternoon (oh, Happy Easter to those who celebrate) and I am confined to my room doing homework, as I have been this entire weekend. This is the unfortunate side effect of the end of the school semester. It's that time were all of the professors realize that we only have about two full weeks to complete everything, so they give you about 3 assignments a piece to finish in that amount of time. Thus, ciaos ensues.

The hardest thing about these next few weeks will not necessarily be the amount of work I will have to complete, but suppressing the consistent daydreams and the urge to spend my time outside in the wonderful spring weather. It's currently 77 degrees, and sunny, which makes it particularly hard to focus on the work I still have to complete.

It's been a pretty even fight today between my homework and my daydreams. I've opened my blinds to let the sunlight in and help my orchids bloom. I have been watching one of my orchid buds slowly open today, which has been fun to watch while working. I have also been on a kick of listening to the Carolina Chocolate Drops, Steve Martin, and Nickel Creek. This definitely has not helped suppress my daydreams today. I keep thinking about spending the day outside, going on a nice road trip to a destination unknown. Something vast, and open, untouched by industry, and little interaction with human alteration. I want to lay in tall grass and absorb the sun and sky. If I had a dog, he (or she) would be by my side, running freely. Or, spending the day next to a flowing stream, or slow moving river. Sitting a rock, while sliding my feet into the water. With the influence of my music choices today, if i could play the banjo or mandolin, an instrument would be present, playing softly. I also imagine myself writing letters to my loved ones, on handmade stationary. I would say in this place all through the morning and afternoon, and into the night. I would watch as the sun set, and welcome its descent, for I know it will rise again in the morning. I would stay even after the sun has gone, and wait for the lightning bugs to appear. I would watch as their lights would dance against the dark, and indulge in my childish desires and catch one or two just to see the light up close, and then release them so that they could continue dancing. After a while, I would then reluctantly take my leave from this place, and let it rest for the evening, but hope that I would return soon.

So, that is just part of the many daydreams I have been having today. I hope to be able enjoy this wonderful weather soon, and absorb a bit of spring.


Because I always have to share videos:

This is a really great song by Steve Martin. He talks a bit before the song starts, so if you just want to hear the song, just skip to about 2:20

The Vespers- Just heard this song today, but the banjo playing in it is pretty good.

So, I stumbled across this video some time ago, and I thought it was pretty awesome. I have never rock climbed before, but wow...she makes it look so effortless. It's amazing to see the amount of strength this takes, and she's only 18.

Long time, no blog.

So it's been sometime since I last blogged. Well, kind of...I wrote one maybe a week ago, but deleted it because it was pretty useless. Granted, not to say that this one will be much better.

So this week as been spring break for my university, and it's been rather uneventful. I went home for a few days which consisted of me showing a friend of mine around my home town, playing Super Mario Brothers and Super Smash Brothers Brawl, eating cupcakes, and tormenting my cat. However, I did discover a wonderful candle! It's called Emberlight by Yankee Candle and it smells exactly like a campfire AKA one of the best smells on the planet. I refrained from buy it...for now. I'm holding back on my candle/incense purchases till I know for sure if I'm getting an apartment (which has been an unfortunate source of stress lately). The only downside to this Emberlight candle would be that my room would constantly smell like it's burning down...oh well, I can look past that.

Other than my candle discovery, I have spent the majority of my break working on art projects. I have been staying in my room on campus so I can use the art building to work on my ceramics project, which is coming along a bit better than my first project in that class. I'm crossing my fingers that it continues that way seeing as I'm not finished just yet. I have to say that I really enjoy the campus when its empty. There is an air about it that is really nice. The only downside is that after a while, living in a building completely void of any human life gets a bit creepy after a while. Every noise that comes from outside of my room, immediately has me searching  for a weapon that I could use to fight with against whatever zombie, big foot, or lochness monster lies outside of my room. Luckily, I have not yet mistaken the random maintenance man, or campus cop for any of those things...yet.

And that basically sums up my break so far. I did finally watch The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo. Not to shabby of a movie, but a lot more nakedness than I had expected.

And since I am obsessed with Youtube videos I leave you with this. This girl is only 15...what the poop?! This is her cover of Bon Iver's Skinny Love.

And this... Bon Iver's cover of I can't make you love me.

And one for the road...it's short. promise. Wait for the end :)

Relationships are a tricky business.

I have noticed a pattern in a particular subject that as been popping up around me recently. That subject being... Relationships. I have had a large number of friends that have just entered, just got out of, or just entered a very serious point in their relationship. Now these conversations have had various forms and they haven't been looking at the same aspects of relationships (romantic relationships, in case I need to clarify) but it has sparked some thought on my part.

The first thing being the people we choose (and I use that term loosely) to like or be attracted to. We have this certain criteria, or a list of things we look for in a partner, and we apply these things to the people we meet to see if there is potential for a relationship. However, then there are the cases where we are attracted to someone, but they don't necessarily have those particular qualities that we thought we were looking for, but somehow the relationship works. Then there are those people who have all the qualities that we look for in a partner, but for some reason or another, we aren't attracted to them. Apparently there is some component that can make or break a relationship, and I have no clue what that component is. There is some essential bit that can make a relationship work, when in other scenarios, it would have no chance, or it can prevent one from even occurring, when it would otherwise make perfect sense for a relationship to form. I don't know about you, but that's pretty big stuff. It's strange to me that I can't put my finger on what that component is.

The next thing being how people actually get together. It's a funny thing how some people get together very quickly, or over a long period of time. There are those people that get together after a couple of weeks, and then there are people who get together after many many months or even years. Then there is this other component of the "courting" process; you know, the flirting, or going on dates, or what have you. Sometimes it's so strange. How some people show interest can be so unbelievably different from others, it's amazing. Now personally, I'm really, and I mean REALLY, bad at telling if someone is interested in me. I will be the first to admit I can be kind of dense in that area. However, I tend to think that I am sadly kind of obvious when I am interested in someone. I don't know if that is true or not, but I always feel like I am super obvious, and therefore feel kind of silly about it at times. ANYWAY.

Then comes the process of actually communicating your feelings. You know, the kind of literal, "Hey...Guess what"? "What"? " I like you". "Awesome. I like you too". This process, at least for me, is the hardest. There is this whole process of working your way to that point where you feel like you want, or need, to express your feelings, but then there is also this kind of awkward component of how you do that. You know, do you wait for the other person to say something first? Do you say something first? Are you straight forward, or do you feel around for the right moment? So many variations! Personally, I am awful at this. I am such a pansy when it comes to telling someone I like them. Since I can be pretty dense about assessing someone else's feelings toward me, I tend to second guess whether or not someone might like me. This, therefore, results in me, often times, not saying a word. I usually just hope that if the other person has feelings towards me, and that they will say something first. I'm not sure if this comes from fear of rejection, or rather a fear of looking like an idiot. I can recall telling one person that I liked them first, and while he didn't have the same feelings, we actually became better friends after that. So, I'm not particularly sure why I have this apprehension, because I really haven't had a particularly bad experience. AND I'm not one of those girls that thinks the guy should have to say something first, although I have had people tell me to wait for the guy to say something as to not appear threatening. That is an interesting concept to me. Is that true? Is it threatening if a girl admits her feelings first? I think it's a silly idea, but who knows. 

So, in short, this has been a very interesting pattern of conversation in my life as of late. I know there are probably no answers for any of the questions or ponderings, but it is definitely interesting to think about.

The Reality of Growing Up.

It has been brought to my attention recently that I am, in fact, growing up. I'm starting to have to make these semi-adult decisions about where I am going to go after I graduate college, what kind of job I want, where I want to live, what kind of dog I will get when I have the space...you know...that sort of thing.
It's a very strange experience. I don't feel like I'm old enough to be having to make these decisions, but recently I have been trying to find the answers to these grownup questions.

I will be graduating soon (*hopefully*) with a bachelors degree in Anthropology. What do I want to do with that, you ask?....nothing. Yeah, I'm getting a degree in a field that I don't really want to go in to full time. The story behind that is kind of long, but basically I found out a bit too late that I didn't want to be an anthropologist, or anything of the sort. I find the subject very interesting, but I don't think it's the career path for me. So, when people find out this little tid bit of info, then next question usually is, well...what do you want to do then? Good question. That is one of the things I have been asking myself. Now, I dabble in photography, and those who know me then usually assume that I want to purse that as my career. I thought I might want to go into that field, but I'm starting to think that I would rather keep that for myself. I'm starting to find that the more I force myself to do "professional" jobs, I beat myself up over the result and it, at times, causes me more worry than it does anything else. I like taking photos for friends, so I won't stop doing that, but I think I would rather keep this as a hobby. So, what AM I going to do? Well, I've been thinking about going into counseling. It's something I had thought about before, but didn't really look into it too much. Over the past few years, I have held a job that has, at times, put me in a kind of counseling role, which I have found that I really enjoy. I like helping people, which I know sounds like a fortune cookie response, but it's the truth. SO with this, I have been having to look at Graduate school, something I NEVER thought I would do. I will probably end up staying at my current university for Grad school due to a few different reasons. Sadly, the biggest reason being that it will be cheaper for me to stay where I am. I looked at possibly applying to Oregon State University's counseling program, but sadly I know I a could not afford to go out of state. I've never been to Oregon, but I always had this kind of day dream of living there, or possibly Washington. Which, if you want to see video that will make you want to move to Washington tomorrow, watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=-sBnepbX1rY

So with this, it has lead me to think about where I might want to end up. Where do I want to live once I have figured out what I'm going to do with my life? Now, this isn't necessarily a question that has to be answered right away, but it's something I should think about. Do I want to stay in Georgia, or do I want to try and go out of state? Do I possibly want to try and move out to Oregon, or Washington, or somewhere of the like? I have a tendency to day dream, so I've had these images running through my head about where I see myself in a few years. It usually ends up with me living in or near the mountains, in a small house with a garden with some extra land, and a dog. Sometimes there is a boy included in that, but I can't really control that part of my life. I would like to be able to share this with a boyfriend/husband or whatever, but that's not really something you can plan. I can hope I will find someone to share this with, but that's another blog post for another day. Now, as for a dog, I'm itching to get one. I have had this bad habit recently of searching around town at different dogs. I LOVE big dogs, so as for a specific breed I'm not sure about. However, the top three breeds I have been looking at a lot lately have been Huskies, Great Danes, and Great Pyrenees, which if you don't know what a Great Pyrenees looks like, just imagine a Polar Bear in dog form.

But anyway, this has been the kind of theme of my life as of late. I'm not sure exactly how things will pan out, but it will interesting to see.

yeah...another video.

I realize that I post videos a lot. I recognize and accept this about myself.


I really hope this is a true story because it's pretty funny.