Simple

Sometimes I long for simplicity, to live a life that is devoid of all the things that makes us wired and connected. Often times I find myself dreaming of ways to disconnect from all the chaos. I dream of leaving the life I know, only taking my necessary possessions, and finding some small cabin, with a fireplace, in the middle of nowhere where I can call my home. I would find a simple job that would bring in income, and when I wasn't working I would spend the rest of my time reading, writing, hiking, playing with my dog, or maybe even take up fishing. I would plant a little garden too. Grow some green beans, and various herbs. Fruits as well, because what is life without blueberries, and strawberries. I'm not quite sure what it says about me as a person to wish for this so often. I'm also not quite so sure what it says about me to wish so much. Stillness is want a long for at times. I long to be in a place where the only thing that moves is the nature and weather around me. To have room to think where there isn't the noise of industry clouding my thoughts.

Anyway, I could ramble on but I won't keep you any longer. Just a passing thought.

The Gundersen Family- Wandering Bird

Oh and a movie recomendation: The River Why

Open Letter To Myself

So, this really is just going to be a letter for myself. Something for me to go back to and remind myself of from time to time when I need it. You are (obviously) welcome to read it, and if it happens to help you, read it again if you ever need it.

Emily,
    You are reading this because something right now is stressing you out/ making you feel kind of down. Well, here's the thing...you know you can do this. Whatever it is that is going on will, in time, pass. As you very well know, even if things feel bad right now they will get better in time. Don't let whatever it is weigh on your heart too much. You know you have a bad habit of being way too hard on yourself and letting life and other things weigh your heart down and make it feel heavy. Remember that there is only so much you can do, and if you have done everything in your power to help the situation, there is nothing else you can do but remind yourself that tomorrow is a new day and try to make it a better one then the last. Also, remember that hard times are the best times for growth and knowledge. Once this bad patch has run its course, you will come out of it having learned more about life, and about yourself, none of which is a bad thing. Do not think that a rough patch defines who you are or how your life will be. This only fills the pages in the story of your life, and makes the read much more worth the while. Take time and just breathe. Take a moment away from everything and remind yourself that there is calm amongst the chaos. Listen to songs that make you happy, and do something that you love. Those things will help remind you that things aren't as bad as they seem. Also, don't be afraid to talk to your friends about your worries. They are your friends for a reason and will listen. They have probably already prodded you and asked what is wrong, (because you like to think you can hide your feelings when you're upset, but you can't. You wear your heart on your sleeve  even though you think you don't. Everyone can see it but you.) and more than likely you said that everything was ok, and that you're just tired. We know that's not true, so just let them know what's going on. They asked for a reason, and that reason is because they care. Telling them what is bothering you is not this big burden to them that you think it is. It really is ok to vent, so do it! So now, my last bit of advice is to remember that Christopher Robin said "If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together, there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart, I'll always be with you."

Here are some songs that might help you feel better

Post Christmas Ramblings

Well, Christmas has come and gone, but it was a good one! I've been kind of amazed at how fast December has gone by. I feel like at one moment it was Halloween and then I blinked and then POOF..... Christmas was here.

I've spent the majority of my holiday up in Tennessee with my grandparents. Luckily, I was also able to make it out to my other grandparents out in Virginia on Christmas Eve. Due my granddads rapid memory loss no one can really visit much,because he doesn't remember us anymore, and because of this it stresses him out when people are there for over a period of time. It's sad, but I'm glad I got to see both of my grandparents, and the rest of the family that is out that way.

But other than the usual holiday activities, I've just been spending time with family. On Sunday myself, my mother, and my aunt and uncle, decided to hike up House Mountain. I was very excited to hike, since I hadn't been able to for a while, and I had never been up house mountain, I had only ever seen it from my grandparents front porch. So, we started around 2 which was fine considering it was cloudy and around 50 degrees. We had a good pace to start with, but as we got further my mother and I slowed down a bit. Being significantly shorter than my aunt and uncle (and not as in shape), we hung a little further back. I slowed down to keep my mother company, and to be there if she needed help. The trail itself, was for the most part up hill, with what I would say is a very narrow path, and was SUPER rocky. With it being so rocky, that's what slowed me down a lot. I am not the most sure of foot, and after falling a time or two after not paying attention to where was putting my feet, I tend to take rocky paths a lot slower than I used to. In a few areas, the rocks were so big I had to climb over them because my legs were too short to reach. At one point, I had to stop and rest because I started to get very dizzy. I knew it was due to a lack of drinking enough water. So that was my fault, I know better, but it just didn't cross my mind, and I forgot my water bottle. Then as I was resting, it started to rain pretty good, which made my decision to forgo going to the top, but to turn around. The trail was already a bit muddy in places from previous rainfall, and I knew there was a storm on the way. So, as we made our way back down, the rain continued to fall making the trail muddy, and the rocks very slick. I slipped a few times, but luckily was always able to catch my balance. Surprisingly  there were a good number of people on the trail that day. Met one fellow who decided to make the hike sans shoes. I hope that worked out for him. I didn't expect to see so many on a cloudy, rainy day, but I guess great minds think alike :)

The view from House Mountain

Avett Brothers- Sanguine

Living a life of meaning

So, since I've finished my degree, it is inevitable that one receives the question "what are you going to do now"? I give them a kind of vague response that goes something like " I'm looking for any job right now, and then going to look at big kid jobs and possibly graduate school" and hope that is sufficient enough. Now, this is my plan, but as far as what I REALLY want to do....I'm not quite sure. I've looked into things I would like to do, but I keep going back to one question....what is the purpose of this job? What does this actually do? Does it even mean anything? And that's where I get stuck.

I know this probably sounds cliche, but I want to do something that really means something. I want to do something that has an impact on someone or something. I want to do something that I am proud of, that I feel actually made an impact. I long to do something that is exciting and fulling to my life, rather than just my wallet. I feel like too often people are driven into positions that are just beneficial financially, and in that process loose a bit of who they are and loose site of how grand the world can be, or how much meaningful impact one person can have. I want my life to be rich, not in money but in experiences, adventures, in smiles, and change. I don't want to site idle by, and just watch my life float away on a breeze. I don't want my life to be reduced to only thinking about how to make more money, but I want to think about how I can make life for myself and others better and more bright. When I'm old , I want to have stories that are so sensational that my grandchildren question if they are even real. I just want to live my life in a way that has meaning. I've lost some sleep pondering this. Not stressing about it, but just reading, and researching how I can make this my reality, and just a 22 year olds far fetched idea of what her life could be like.

I understand how silly that might sound, but I haven't been able to stop thinking about it lately.

Now, to get off of my rambling, I leave you to your regularly scheduled program.

Noah Gundersen- Middle of June

So it's been a minute....

It's been quite some time since I've written anything, and for that I apologize. The last few weeks of the semester were hectic to say the least, and then after graduation I went AWOL for a bit. Oh, and yes...I officially graduated. I've tried to write a few different posts, but I just can't seem to find the right words for what's been going through my head. One of these days I will get it together and let you in, and hopefully that will be soon. However, I thought I would just check in and leave you with some good music I've been listening to lately.

Noah Gundersen- Caroline (pretty much have been listening to this on repeat)

Noah Gundersen- Jesus, Jesus 

Noah Gundersen- Fire (Notice a trend?)

Break time!

Ok, I'm taking a short break from studying to share this little tid-bit with you. I stumbled across this, and I must say I'm very excited for it. So, if you can head here and donate to help fund this awesome project! Enjoy!

As I read more and more about backpacking trips like this, the more I really want to go on one. More on that in another post!

Gobble Gobble TURKEY!

If there is anything that I have learned about Thanksgiving, it's that if you go anywhere on Thanksgiving day, by yourself, you instantly get looks that could only equate to be saying "Aww, bless her heart". Which if you are from the south translates to, "Aww, how sad, but I'm so glad it's not me"! Needless to say I have gotten a few of those looks today. I'm spending this holiday alone, because I had to work. Now, I choose to work on Thanksgiving, in part because it's not my most favorite of holidays (nothing personal, just not a fav), but mostly because I desperately need money considering that I will be graduating in about 2 weeks, and  that my graduation day just also happens to coincide with my impending unemployment. Down side of working on campus. Anyway, I don't particularly mind being alone on this holiday. Granted, don't get me wrong, I would love to be spending time with my family, but I just don't mind being by myself. It's a little lonely, but nothing grandly upsetting. Now, when Christmas comes, there is not question I will be with my family, but for now my lone Thanksgiving consists of watching Abrham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter, eating some dressing that I made, then watching a Charlie Brown Thanksgiving before getting in a nap before work at midnight.

So, to all of you out there, Happy Thanksgiving and eat a piece of pumpkin pie for me!

How to Enjoy Thanksgiving as an Adult-Mike Falzone (aka my soul mate) :p