Time spent at home always has a way of making me reflect on things. Maybe this is because when I come back home I am introduced to all of the changes that have happened since I have been gone, and as a result I look at how my life, away from home, has changed, or is in the process of changing, as well. The changes may not be big, but they are changes nonetheless.
Today, it seems, has been a kind of reflection where I think about how different things were only a year ago. I feel different. I can't quite put my finger on why exactly I feel this way but I'm sure that it is a good different.
I feel like I'm much more independent and self sufficient than I was a year ago. I have learned how to rely on myself more within this past year. Granted, I have also become a bit more outgoing than before. Now, I am by no means an extrovert, I highly doubt I could ever not be an introvert (just in my nature), but I feel like I have made more connections with people, which I really enjoy.
Also, I am making it a point to do more things that I enjoy and have wanted to do. I think in the past year I spent more time focusing on what other people wanted, and not taking the time to do what I enjoy. I feel like I lost some of the things I really enjoyed doing, and now is the time to start doing those things again.
I also have realized that I am much stronger than what I had thought. I have been through some things in the past year that have made me realize that, while things can get hard, there is always something good that comes out of those hard times. You realize certain things that you could only understand by going through that difficult time. It's a very empowering thing. Knowing that things may be hard, but also knowing that something good will come out of it...it's nice.
On a more specific note, I am much much closer to graduation! Well, that is if all goes according to plan. It's exciting and scary all at once. I'm in the process of figuring out what I want to do after I get out of school. I have a few different ideas that I am playing with, so we will see how that pans out.
Also, I am single this year. If I'm being honest, the breakup was expected. I felt it coming, so when it ended I wasn't really surprised. Now, how it ended exactly, I was completely taken by surprise but I have come to terms with that. You can't control the actions of others, but if I'm being honest, something needed to happen to end it. Unfortunately, I got hurt in this process but in the long run we are both better off for it. I'm ready to move forward, and hopefully find someone who cares for me the way I care for them.
As well, I feel like I am developing a closer relationship with my Dad. We have never really been close, and it's something I have always wanted. I always envied those who had a close relationship with fathers. I've wanted it so bad, but for various reasons, my father and I haven't been able to build a strong bond. However, recently I feel like we have been able to make steps towards being closer which I'm really happy about.
But overall, I am looking forward to what the next year has in store for me. I'm excited to see what happens :)
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